OFFICIAL

The official move date is the second weekend of February. We don't have a place yet, but my sister is checking out a couple places this week, including one on Shakespeare Ave., which would just about be the coolest thing ever!
I still need to tell work (and a few friends) that I'm moving, but I am so ready for a fresh start. Something new.

I pull a Tarot card every morning, as a simple divination, and a couple days ago I got the Three of Wands, which generally indicates travel, success in ventures, etc. However, my deck, the DruidCraft Deck, depicts a man standing in the foreground with three willow saplings growing out of the ground, looking out into the background, which is uninhabited countryside.
When the Celts wanted to start a new community, or move, the community would send some people on ahead to plant willow, because it grows so damn fast. The rest of the community would show up a little later and use the willow they'd planted to make their houses.
So this card is the move, or the preparing for the move.

Three of Wands also refers to a venture or project which brings three factors together, so I pulled three cards: The High Priestess (the Divine Feminine, intuition, and specifically, the path I am on right now, which involves recovery from addiction); Three of Cups (friendship, companionship, specifically my relationship with my sister, because we haven't always been friends); and Ace of Pentacles reversed (my shitty money situation, which led me to living with my family which allowed me to save enough money to actually do this, because I've been wanting to move to Chicago for a while, but never had the means).
I thought that was pretty fucking awesome.

I can't remember if I mentioned the "Pagan-flavored but secular 12-step group" in Chicago that I really want to join when I get there.

But anyway, I'm borrowing my friend's computer, and he just came back from showering, so I'll stop ignoring him and hang out.
Love you all!!!!!!!

My mom's playing Shania Twain ...

... and I'm about to off myself.

I'm only in the main house because the internet connection is stronger here, and I really want some better ringtones for my new phone. Like Emilie Autumn. Or perhaps Rasputina.
Speaking of Emilie Autumn and Rasputina, I just came across a CD put together by Emilie Autumn, one of the chicks from Rasputina, and some other people, entitled Attrition: All mine enemys whispers. It's the story of a Victorian mass murderer, Mary Ann Cotton, who poisoned 20 of her children/partners.
My gods, it sounds amazing!
Release date is in late March, and there was no price listed, yet, so I can't even pre-order it yet. But it comes with reproduction stickers of original Victorian poison bottle labels. How cool is that?

Anyway, plans for Chicago are moving swiftly towards the me-ending-up-in-Chicago-very-soon direction.
I basically have to figure out how much money I'll need to get there, and to pay for first rent and all that shit, and figure out when I'll have that much, and Emily (my sister) needs to find us a place to live. Then I'm good to go.
Good thing I haven't been working on Saturdays lately. More time to pack.

Anyway. Love you all, more updates when I get them. I need to buy some ringtones, shower, and escape to my bedroom for some darkwave victoriandustrial musically orgasmic deliciousness.

lol

Chicago?

So, my sister's here for Christmas, and it's been crazy-amazing. She and I have just been spending a lot of time talking, whenever we can, which usually tends to be around midnight. Last night we went into my room, I read the Tarot cards for her, and then we just talked about our fucked-up family, and life and religion/spirituality and art and music and relationships, and especially how our family has basically fucked us up in the relationship arena.

And we talked about Chicago, and I'm thinking seriously about moving to Chicago again. I've found that my biggest fear, in moving, is that I have this "out-of-sight-out-of-mind" problem with people I don't see that often. I can only feel connections with people when they're right there, when I'm in the midst of a connection. When I don't see people for a while, I tend to lose that connection, and also to forget we ever had a connection (I tend to forget we were ever friends).
It really sucks.

But my book, How I Stayed Alive, talks about that, and about ways to maintain connections with people you don't see that often. So I feel like that might be okay. You know?

Anyway. Just thoughts.