Because, you know, it's impossible for me to wait once I've basically decided on a course of action. Which is ridiculous, because of how difficult it is for me to make decisions in the first place. Or maybe it makes sense: Oh! I just made a decision! Better act on it, quick, before I change my mind again!
The only thing that's bothering me is I don't see a way to simply "hide" certain posts, making them not visible to the public. If I don't want it up, I have to delete it. I guess.
I'll keep looking, because I don't want to entirely delete something I have written, but I may have to do something drastic, or at least time-consuming ...
Life is happening again, slowly. I did laundry today (I have at least three more loads to do--I wash all my clothes by hand, now--not counting towels and bedding and stuff) and I've gotten most of the way through updating my budgeting project (now all I have to do is go through the times when the money had to come out my checking account but was supposed to come out my savings account, so I can be sure my money's all where it's supposed to be). I did not clean the kitchen today, but my roommate promised to do dishes tonight, so I think I'll wait till morning to clean the kitchen, so there are fewer dirty dishes in my way, and I don't have to wash all the dishes just to get at my counter space.
I'm leaving very soon for my boyfriend's house, where we will eat dinner and watch a documentary that he got from Netflix ... we have to return it so we can get a new movie, but he's had it for over a month and is pretty sure that the only way he'll watch it is if I watch it with him ... *sigh*
Anyway, gotta go! Love you all!
19 June 2010
16 June 2010
I'm thinking of making changes. To the blog.
This has somewhat to do with what was said at CONduit (the SciFi/Fantasy Convention I attended in May) about making sure you have a professional appearance online so that editors and agents can look at you and see what you're like, what you like, what the people who pay attention to you already are like--you know, because if I started selling books, I'm sure you would all buy them, right?
And I used to think that sort of thing was utter bullshit--like most of my generation, I believe--that it violated my right as a human being (or I guess as an American, but what, really, is the difference? say the Americans) to express myself, to say whatever I want.
Fair enough, but as the saying goes, you have the right to express yourself however you like, and I have the right to respond however I like (so long as we're not arresting you simply for speaking your mind).
I think we all like the idea of "anonymously" sending our shit out to the universe, but I think we all know it doesn't happen that way. And I find I don't feel the need to share my troubles with the entire internet. In my non-digital life, I'm seriously discreet about what I tell to whom, and maybe that's what I like about the send-out call to the internet: I write about how awful my day was, or how I was treated poorly, or something, and I can't control who sees it, and it's kind of an exercise in being more open with myself, but it's not really, because I'm still hiding behind a (false) layer of anonymity. I don't have to see the faces of anyone reading this.
The first option is to censor this blog, to go through and find the posts that I don't need random strangers seeing, and hiding them or deleting them or whatever, and then changing the look of it, getting rid of some of the quotes around it, and even changing the name of it and ideally the URL, over the course of a couple months, I guess. Maybe a little longer.
The second option is to continue this blog as is, but to make it private, to make it so only people I know can see it. I believe this is possible, but I haven't looked into it yet to find out. Then, I would make a new blog (that hopefully my friends would all still follow) that is more of a public blog.
Both options have merit, I believe.
So, I'm going to think about it for a time, and if you, my delightful readers, have an opinion, please share it. Right at this moment, I believe I am leaning toward the first option.
On a less existential sort of blogging-about-blogging note, life has been busy and full lately. Facebook knows a little more of what I've been doing, because it's simply less intimidating to tell Facebook about things ... which is another reason I've been thinking about changing the blog, because it's intimidating me, and I haven't been updating. Clearly time for a change.
In brief: I visited my aunt and uncle in Flagstaff with my boyfriend, I began the process for getting a tattoo (more on that later), I went to CONduit (which was an experience made entirely of awesome), I began some other processes that will hopefully lead me to getting work or a job that I will actually enjoy (more on that maybe), and I and my choir went to New York to sing in Carnegie Hall. I got back from that last one very late Tuesday.
In future news, I'm going camping with some Pagans soon, I'm going on a writer's retreat in August, and my boyfriend and I have talked about juggling conventions in Portland and Seattle in September-ish (he juggles).
Love you all, chat with you later.
This has somewhat to do with what was said at CONduit (the SciFi/Fantasy Convention I attended in May) about making sure you have a professional appearance online so that editors and agents can look at you and see what you're like, what you like, what the people who pay attention to you already are like--you know, because if I started selling books, I'm sure you would all buy them, right?
And I used to think that sort of thing was utter bullshit--like most of my generation, I believe--that it violated my right as a human being (or I guess as an American, but what, really, is the difference? say the Americans) to express myself, to say whatever I want.
Fair enough, but as the saying goes, you have the right to express yourself however you like, and I have the right to respond however I like (so long as we're not arresting you simply for speaking your mind).
I think we all like the idea of "anonymously" sending our shit out to the universe, but I think we all know it doesn't happen that way. And I find I don't feel the need to share my troubles with the entire internet. In my non-digital life, I'm seriously discreet about what I tell to whom, and maybe that's what I like about the send-out call to the internet: I write about how awful my day was, or how I was treated poorly, or something, and I can't control who sees it, and it's kind of an exercise in being more open with myself, but it's not really, because I'm still hiding behind a (false) layer of anonymity. I don't have to see the faces of anyone reading this.
The first option is to censor this blog, to go through and find the posts that I don't need random strangers seeing, and hiding them or deleting them or whatever, and then changing the look of it, getting rid of some of the quotes around it, and even changing the name of it and ideally the URL, over the course of a couple months, I guess. Maybe a little longer.
The second option is to continue this blog as is, but to make it private, to make it so only people I know can see it. I believe this is possible, but I haven't looked into it yet to find out. Then, I would make a new blog (that hopefully my friends would all still follow) that is more of a public blog.
Both options have merit, I believe.
So, I'm going to think about it for a time, and if you, my delightful readers, have an opinion, please share it. Right at this moment, I believe I am leaning toward the first option.
On a less existential sort of blogging-about-blogging note, life has been busy and full lately. Facebook knows a little more of what I've been doing, because it's simply less intimidating to tell Facebook about things ... which is another reason I've been thinking about changing the blog, because it's intimidating me, and I haven't been updating. Clearly time for a change.
In brief: I visited my aunt and uncle in Flagstaff with my boyfriend, I began the process for getting a tattoo (more on that later), I went to CONduit (which was an experience made entirely of awesome), I began some other processes that will hopefully lead me to getting work or a job that I will actually enjoy (more on that maybe), and I and my choir went to New York to sing in Carnegie Hall. I got back from that last one very late Tuesday.
In future news, I'm going camping with some Pagans soon, I'm going on a writer's retreat in August, and my boyfriend and I have talked about juggling conventions in Portland and Seattle in September-ish (he juggles).
Love you all, chat with you later.
23 March 2010
Oh my.
DP suggested it would be a quarter-year since I had last blogged if I waited till April to do it again (it's been nearly a month since I last wrote in my paper journal), so I thought I would say something here.
I am in Flagstaff with DP, visiting my aunt and uncle. He and I went to the Grand Canyon on Monday. We spent some time with Ann and Bill Sunday and today. We are leaving bright and early tomorrow morning (we hope) and arriving back in Salt Lake City on Thursday.
However, since we're getting up early tomorrow, this will just be a real quick note. Love you all, hopefully I'll write more frequently than this in future.
I am in Flagstaff with DP, visiting my aunt and uncle. He and I went to the Grand Canyon on Monday. We spent some time with Ann and Bill Sunday and today. We are leaving bright and early tomorrow morning (we hope) and arriving back in Salt Lake City on Thursday.
However, since we're getting up early tomorrow, this will just be a real quick note. Love you all, hopefully I'll write more frequently than this in future.
02 January 2010
Tracking
After two days of doing what I could to not leave a footprint visible--no trail, stepping on sidewalk where I could, or the softest, slushiest snow when sidewalk wasn't available because it would melt the fastest, or the hardest, most packed-in snow because it wouldn't leave as clear an impression, and trying not to walk on dry patches of sidewalk, because that would leave wet footprints--having some sense of being tracked, or trackable, and making up stories about urban trackers--after two days of this, walking home just now, I walked in the snow without care, and watched the ground, looking for my footprints, and even stepped in clean, clear snow deliberately for an impression, so I could see what my tracks looked like. And I was pleased when I did find the tracks I had made earlier that day, pleased to know--that I had made some change in the world? That I was not completely untraceable? Not sure, but something like that.
I've had a couple of wonderful days, starting with seeing the movie Avatar on Wednesday night because choir didn't meet this week, continuing through to a really good New Year's party with the writing group Callihoo, and ... I don't know when it ends. Maybe when I have to go back to work tomorrow.
Avatar is an excellent movie, I really recommend it.
The New Year's party was lots of fun; we played writing games, and wrote some awesome, though insane, stories. (Write two sentences, fold the paper over so only one is showing, pass it. You will be passed a piece of paper folded over so only one sentence shows. Write two more sentences, and fold it over so only one is showing. Pass it. Continue until you reach the bottom of the page.) We had enough people that we ended up reading a story that we did not contribute to at all. That was really cool.
Yesterday, I spent almost the entire day with a boy I have been seeing. I accomplished laundry while he went out to get caffeine and some journal-time, and then we made dinner. I may see him later today.
Life is good; I am happy.
I've had a couple of wonderful days, starting with seeing the movie Avatar on Wednesday night because choir didn't meet this week, continuing through to a really good New Year's party with the writing group Callihoo, and ... I don't know when it ends. Maybe when I have to go back to work tomorrow.
Avatar is an excellent movie, I really recommend it.
The New Year's party was lots of fun; we played writing games, and wrote some awesome, though insane, stories. (Write two sentences, fold the paper over so only one is showing, pass it. You will be passed a piece of paper folded over so only one sentence shows. Write two more sentences, and fold it over so only one is showing. Pass it. Continue until you reach the bottom of the page.) We had enough people that we ended up reading a story that we did not contribute to at all. That was really cool.
Yesterday, I spent almost the entire day with a boy I have been seeing. I accomplished laundry while he went out to get caffeine and some journal-time, and then we made dinner. I may see him later today.
Life is good; I am happy.
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