19 June 2010

Changes are starting ...

Because, you know, it's impossible for me to wait once I've basically decided on a course of action. Which is ridiculous, because of how difficult it is for me to make decisions in the first place. Or maybe it makes sense: Oh! I just made a decision! Better act on it, quick, before I change my mind again!

The only thing that's bothering me is I don't see a way to simply "hide" certain posts, making them not visible to the public. If I don't want it up, I have to delete it. I guess.
I'll keep looking, because I don't want to entirely delete something I have written, but I may have to do something drastic, or at least time-consuming ...

Life is happening again, slowly. I did laundry today (I have at least three more loads to do--I wash all my clothes by hand, now--not counting towels and bedding and stuff) and I've gotten most of the way through updating my budgeting project (now all I have to do is go through the times when the money had to come out my checking account but was supposed to come out my savings account, so I can be sure my money's all where it's supposed to be). I did not clean the kitchen today, but my roommate promised to do dishes tonight, so I think I'll wait till morning to clean the kitchen, so there are fewer dirty dishes in my way, and I don't have to wash all the dishes just to get at my counter space.

I'm leaving very soon for my boyfriend's house, where we will eat dinner and watch a documentary that he got from Netflix ... we have to return it so we can get a new movie, but he's had it for over a month and is pretty sure that the only way he'll watch it is if I watch it with him ... *sigh*

Anyway, gotta go! Love you all!

16 June 2010

I'm thinking of making changes. To the blog.
This has somewhat to do with what was said at CONduit (the SciFi/Fantasy Convention I attended in May) about making sure you have a professional appearance online so that editors and agents can look at you and see what you're like, what you like, what the people who pay attention to you already are like--you know, because if I started selling books, I'm sure you would all buy them, right?
And I used to think that sort of thing was utter bullshit--like most of my generation, I believe--that it violated my right as a human being (or I guess as an American, but what, really, is the difference? say the Americans) to express myself, to say whatever I want.
Fair enough, but as the saying goes, you have the right to express yourself however you like, and I have the right to respond however I like (so long as we're not arresting you simply for speaking your mind).
I think we all like the idea of "anonymously" sending our shit out to the universe, but I think we all know it doesn't happen that way. And I find I don't feel the need to share my troubles with the entire internet. In my non-digital life, I'm seriously discreet about what I tell to whom, and maybe that's what I like about the send-out call to the internet: I write about how awful my day was, or how I was treated poorly, or something, and I can't control who sees it, and it's kind of an exercise in being more open with myself, but it's not really, because I'm still hiding behind a (false) layer of anonymity. I don't have to see the faces of anyone reading this.

The first option is to censor this blog, to go through and find the posts that I don't need random strangers seeing, and hiding them or deleting them or whatever, and then changing the look of it, getting rid of some of the quotes around it, and even changing the name of it and ideally the URL, over the course of a couple months, I guess. Maybe a little longer.
The second option is to continue this blog as is, but to make it private, to make it so only people I know can see it. I believe this is possible, but I haven't looked into it yet to find out. Then, I would make a new blog (that hopefully my friends would all still follow) that is more of a public blog.

Both options have merit, I believe.
So, I'm going to think about it for a time, and if you, my delightful readers, have an opinion, please share it. Right at this moment, I believe I am leaning toward the first option.

On a less existential sort of blogging-about-blogging note, life has been busy and full lately. Facebook knows a little more of what I've been doing, because it's simply less intimidating to tell Facebook about things ... which is another reason I've been thinking about changing the blog, because it's intimidating me, and I haven't been updating. Clearly time for a change.
In brief: I visited my aunt and uncle in Flagstaff with my boyfriend, I began the process for getting a tattoo (more on that later), I went to CONduit (which was an experience made entirely of awesome), I began some other processes that will hopefully lead me to getting work or a job that I will actually enjoy (more on that maybe), and I and my choir went to New York to sing in Carnegie Hall. I got back from that last one very late Tuesday.
In future news, I'm going camping with some Pagans soon, I'm going on a writer's retreat in August, and my boyfriend and I have talked about juggling conventions in Portland and Seattle in September-ish (he juggles).

Love you all, chat with you later.