06 December 2010

Vocational Evaluation

Haven't written in a few days. This entry will probably take all day to write, but that's okay because I have no internet here.

I have two fifteen minute breaks, and an hour for lunch. I'm only here for six hours ... that's a schedule I can live with!

Doing Vocational Evaluation testing. So far just filling out forms about my work experience and why I have trouble getting and keeping jobs (anxiety issues rank high, here), and then one long fill-in-the-bubbles sort of form asking what I like or would like in activities, subjects to study and jobs. Never understood the purpose of those things: Don't worry about whether you would be good at it, or how well it pays ... I don't understand how that helps, but I guess I can trust in the system.

Anyway, finished my banana and egg, so, back to the table to fill out more forms--oh, yeah, he'd handed us some shiny magazines that talk about jobs ... sort of like a miniature OOH. So we get to look at those and write down "five to ten" jobs we'd like. Riiight ...

I wrote eighteen ideal jobs. Yay, me!

Also, they let me go early, so I didn't have a last break in which to write this. I'm writing now in the lobby, waiting for my friend BS, who dropped me off here. (This building is at about 1500 W, and I don't know if there are any buses in the world that go here ... )

So. I got to peek at my file, and I found that Voc Rehab's psych evaluation of me got me the diagnoses of Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder NOS (Not Otherwise Specified basically means the anxiety doesn't meet the criteria for any other disorder).

My "counselor"--I'm not actually sure what it's called--no, wait, my "evaluator" (that's fun) talked to me for a little bit at the end. He was impressed with my college degree, and commented that I must be quite intelligent.

He asked if I was feeling anxious about this evaluation, and to be honest, this is kind of a cakewalk--at least so far. It's all on paper, there's been very little personal interaction. While I was in his office (part of which time was spent waiting), I was more anxious, but I was forewarned, and brought all my coping mechanisms today.

He gave me some forms to fill out either tonight or tomorrow in the evaluation--more testing what I like and what I value.

I'm feeling slightly anxious now--it's a feeling of walking on eggshells, of, I guess, vulnerability. That's usually a sign to watch out for triggers, because whatever happens next will help influence which way my mood will fall: depression, anxiety, or mania ...


  1. Maybe just a little bit of that contributed to last night's scatteredness, yeah?

    You did remarkably well, I think. :)

  2. Thank you, dear. I appreciate you.
    Yes, I think several things contributed to Monday night: Thanksgiving, my first day at Voc Eval; but I do have my own anxiety/panic triggers regarding running my very own role-playing story. I'll tell you sometime, if you're interested.


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