31 January 2009


I'm exaggerating slightly, but ... I went on a date! (I haven't done much of that recently.) I had about a weekend of feeling really excited and happy and all those feelings that accompany a new person in your life, and then he said that he wasn't ready for a girlfriend. (He'd had a recent and bad breakup that was more recent than I'd really been aware.)
But the thing is ... well, there's a few things. I am so ready for a partner: I haven't had any really stable relationships since Nicholas (early 2006), just lovers and brief boyfriends. And I needed that, I really did. I have noticed so much growth because I spent some time not in real relationships (I think the most growth occurred during that awful lonely six months of Chicago before dating Phil briefly--six months of actual loverlessness).
But now? Now I want someone to be there, to be a part of my life. I've been pushing people and things away, out of my life, for three years now, getting rid of bad habits and as much shit as I could. And now I need to embrace, I need to bring things (and people) into my life.
I'm lonely.
But, also, I really like this boy. And obviously I don't know if it would be a stable relationship, but I was willing to try.
Fortunately, it's still really easy to be friends with him. So we'll see how things go.

I was going to write about other things besides a boy, but I'm getting tired. And talking about it (I spent a full day really depressed, after we had that talk, and another day slightly depressed) kind of deflated everything else I was thinking about ...

I love you all!!

17 January 2009

Sun Sign: Cancer

I always objected to being a Cancer when I was younger; I hated living in my house, and being around my (huge and chaotic)family all the time, and Cancers are always supposed to be hugely maternal and family-oriented and love staying at home, etc.
As I've gotten older, I've realized, it manifests thusly: I need a haven. My haven is generally my home, especially now that I have at least some control over my home; particularly my bedroom. (I suppose it would be the whole house if I had the whole house to myself--a thing I want very much.) I need a haven. I need a place to go to, to recharge in. If I don't have that, I get really stressed out. This has been a really long week, and not for reasons that most people would understand, either. It's hard to explain to the average Virgo or Sagittarius that I've had a really long week because I haven't been home much, I haven't been able to recharge my batteries much at all this week. It's been awful.
So, today I'm dead. Partly because I spent over 7 hours on my feet, but mostly because I have been away from my haven for way too long.

Anyway, not much else to report, other than that I'm finally home. I've totally fallen down on my goals of writing and practicing violin every day, just because of this week, but I will get back on it. Promise.
And I'm going to veg out and watch old episodes of Bones on Hulu, maybe make some popcorn, and try to get some idea of a picture to take for today ....
Love you all!

09 January 2009

Thoughts of Changes

I never thought I'd want to change the way my blog looks. It's black and pink, and a bit of purple. What could be better? And yet, coming to my personal blog from my photoblog, which is light-colored ... well, I thought ... wow, that's really dark.
Hmm. It may still come to naught.

What I really came here to say was, I wrote some articles for eHow just now, and I'm excited about it. eHow is one of my favorite websites (along with Fashion-Era and Elizabethan Costuming), and I've contemplated writing articles for it, but I've always thought, oh, there's already articles for everything I know how to do ...
And for the most part, that's true, but! I wrote an article that had been requested, so presumably hadn't been written before (How to Make Cinnamon Oil), and then I wrote a set of two articles on the Fertility Awareness Method (one on using it to get pregnant, and one on using it for birth control), and technically, there were already articles that discussed FAM, but often they were inaccurate (using the label FAM, but giving instructions, for example, that involved looking at past cycles to determine your future cycles, which doesn't do shit), or I felt they could have been done better.
And I felt that way about the feng shui articls, too, that I could do better.
So, here I am. It helps that I can get paid if enough people visit my articles, so ... do me a favor: visit me! You don't even have to read the articles, just show up, give 'em a once-over, maybe leave a comment saying how much you love me, and that's all.

Anyway, love you all! I still feel compelled to do something writerly with either my novel or short story, even though I spent all day writing, technically. I'm going to have to figure out why article-writing doesn't feel like "writing" to me ...
But, like I said, I still have to write, and I'm TIRED! (As usual.) So I want to write and get to bed!

06 January 2009


I have officially moved my Project 365 photoblog to the Asylum 2009, which is hosted by Blogger, and thus is so much better. I haven't gotten rid of the old one, but I'll not update it anymore, so if you're following my year of photos, check the Asylum.

05 January 2009

My Sister's Corset

As promised, I present to you my sister's Christmas corset!
The bottom pictures are her wearing it, the top is the laced front and back pictures, and in the middle is some detailed stuff ...
I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out, and my sister loved it!

01 January 2009

Project 365

Okay, I said I would post the blog info. My Project 365 blog is:
I will hopefully be uploading new pictures every day, so check back every once in a while. I will also post some pictures here every once in a while, but not as many as one per day.

Anyway, I love you all! Have a wonderful day!

Aphrodite's Call, by Jasmin Cori

Hunters Beware!
My body is a vast land
and you come by invitation only.

Who amongst you has the courage
to enter my forests without a bow?
Who can meet the Animal in me
and not be devoured?

I am Aphrodite
and I know my wealth!
There are no rivers deeper than mine
no mountains that have claimed the lives of more men
foolish in their choices.

He who answers my call
must be ever-vigilant
lest he slip on the sheer cliffs
high above the paths that ordinary men walk
and falling, meets his death below.

And yet he must not be stopped by the fear of it.
He must be dauntless in his courage
and reckless as a youth
for there is no turning back.

I call the lion-hearted,
He who asks not for comfort and safety
but goes all out for ecstasy
to lose himself in the Great Dance
consumed in my fire, melted in my rivers
one with the elements.

Come swim in me!
Plunge boldly into the depths of my passion
carrying nothing
for there is nothing you can bring me
that I do not already have.
I want only your delight.

And so the final paradox:
You the strongest and bravest of men
must come not as conqueror
but as child
with your heart in your hands
to be in this moment only
not mine, but one with me.